Sustainable Parenting | The kind and firm solution for resilient kids and dependable calm.
For cycle-breaking parents who still face battles at bedtime and beyond, Sustainable Parenting teaches tools that actually change behavior when gentle parenting doesn't work.
Research shows 1 in 3 parents who try gentle parenting still end the day begging kids to listen and blaming themselves when the scripts don’t stop the tantrums. So if your 6-year-old still ignores you, your toddler screams over a broken banana, and bedtime still ends in tears—it’s not you, it’s the gentle parenting advice that’s failing you.
Unlike other podcasts that only tell you to “stay calm” or “validate feelings” while your toddler is throwing dinosaurs at your head, here you’ll get strategies to set limits kids respect without crushing their spirit so they grow into kind, confident humans, and you finally feel like the calm, in-control parent you want to be.
I’m Flora McCormick—a counselor, parenting coach, and mom of two. After 20 years helping families worldwide, I’ve helped thousands of parents raise confident kids while practicing parenting without yelling or shame. Parenting will always have hard moments, but raising respectful, emotionally healthy kids doesn’t have to be a constant battle.
Follow Sustainable Parenting and start listening today.
Sustainable Parenting | The kind and firm solution for resilient kids and dependable calm.
3 Positive Discipline Tools to End Power Struggles With Kids, and Fights With Your Partner
If you're having bedtime, out-the-door, or morning battles where your partner swoops in mid-meltdown, sending you into a rage, you’re not alone.
In this episode, Flora McCormick, LCPC — parenting coach and host of the Sustainable Parenting Podcast — shares 3 simple Positive Discipline tools that help you end power struggles without yelling, shaming, or giving in.
You’ll learn:
✨ How to use one powerful c-word to get your children to listen more quickly.
✨ How to reset the whole family system that has been right in these tug-o-wars.
✨ How to invite cooperation instead of barking orders that fuel defiance
These tools work whether you’re guiding toddlers or tweens — and they help you and your partner stay on the same team, even in the toughest parenting moments.
Because calm, confident parenting isn’t about perfection. It’s about having the right tools to bring connection and structure back to your home — one day, one conversation at a time.
🎧 Tune in for Positive Parenting Strategies that actually work — helping you raise resilient, respectful kids while creating peace between you and your partner.
✨Want more?
✨ Schedule a FREE 20 min clarity call with Sustainable Parenting, so we can answer any questions you may have. Together, we'll make a plan for your best next steps to have more calm & confidence in parenting - while having kids that listen!:)
✨NEW✨ pdfs and short video lessons on Respect, Bedtimes, Power Struggles and More: https://www.etsy.com/shop/SustainableParenting?ref=shop_profile&listing_id=4297800031
✨ Download the FREE pdf. on getting kids to listen, for strategies that take you out of the "gentle mom - monster mom" cycle, with effective positive parenting strategies.
✨ Sign up for an upcoming LIVE ONLINE workshop with Flora, or purchase a past replay: https://sustainableparenting.com/workshop where you get 30 min. of learning and 30 min. of LIVE Q & A time, with replays sent afterwards.
✨ Buy a 3 session Coaching Bundle (saving you $100) - for THREE 30-min sessions 1:1 with ME, where we get right to the heart of your challenges, and give you small, powerful shifts that make a huge difference fast.
You know that feeling when your child starts melting down about brushing your teeth and you are like trying every trick in the book to get them to cooperate, only to find your partner step in with a harsh, like, you gotta do this, quit making this so hard. Suddenly, before you could even snap your fingers, not only are you in a power struggle with your kid, but also with your partner. It's so frustrating and it's so common. It's one of the most common things that people reach out to me for in parent coaching. Today, friend, we're gonna dig into three positive discipline tools. These tools are pretty simple, but when you use them consistently, they can dramatically change the whole emotional climate of your home. You'll find yourself having less yelling matches, less resentment, and more teamwork. Not just with your kids, but with your partner too. Hello and welcome to the Sustainable Parenting Podcast. Let me tell you, friend, this place is different. We fill that gap between gentle parenting and harsh discipline that's really missing to parent with kindness and firmness at the same time. And give you the exact steps to be able to parent in ways that are more realistic and effective, and for that reason, finally feel sustainable. Welcome. I hope this message today gives you a space to be able to come together to be more able to say, yeah, I could be on your team with that. We could really back each other up if we were both to agree to that middle place of kindness and firmness to get the kids to cooperate. And friend, if this is something you've wanted to improve, I invite you to set up a clarity call with me. I have been having many couples come to me lately who are like, oh my gosh, this investment is saving us from divorce lawyers, Flora, because we were getting there. And friend, you're not alone. A lot of arguments are around either physical intimacy, money, or parenting. And so if this has become a number one challenge in your relationship, it's worth investing and getting on the same page. I'd love to talk with you. I'd love to quickly get you in a place where you both feel like you can be on the kind and firm team together. So, friend, here are three key tools. And these are mostly gleaned from positive discipline, which I will cite in my show notes because it was created by Lynn Lott and Jane Nelson, amazing mothers and experts in the field of child psychology with evidence-based strategies that have stood the test of time and been around since the 80s. Before we dive into these tools, let's just name a few things. Parenting is emotional work. It touches every wound, every insecurity, every belief about am I getting it right or am I failing? So the first key thing I want you to think about as you're going into these tough moments is that we're not going to point the pit the finger at what the other person is doing wrong. We're going to acknowledge that the person on the kind side and the firm side are both just trying to do their best. Like my husband keeps saying lately, we're all just doing the best we can. Like they're just coming to the table, wanting some sense of control over their life and wanting some sense of enjoyment in their time with their kids. Those are really the two main things that get us into a flustered space. If we're not feeling like we have some sense of control and we're not feeling like we're having some sense of enjoyment, then we lean overly kind or overly firm. If you're pulling in opposite directions, I want you to know you are both in this for the same good intentions. To have a sense of control over your life and to have a sense of enjoyment of your time with your kids. So I offer you these three tools that I think can be a lifeline. Tool number one, hear me out on this. There, it's deeper than it first sounds. We've got to work on connection before correction. And you may say, I do connect with my kid. It's like, it feels like a bottomless bucket of connection. I will spend time with them, I'll play these games, I'll even play superheroes, and I'm exhausted. It seems like no matter what I do, they're never content enough to then cooperate. Well, friend, that's not what it's about. It's not like an equal give and take. Hey, if I do this favor for you, will you do a favor for me of cooperating? That's not what we're looking for. It's a real relationship where when there's resistance, we're acknowledging with true empathy that there's some reason for that resistance, and we're connecting to that. We are connecting in a moment where a child says, No, I don't want to go to the bath. And we go, we okay, I'm gonna pause, I'm gonna stand in their shoes, look around, out their eyeballs, and and name it. Oh gosh, yeah, look at that. You've been having so much fun with those tractors. Or yeah, you go, you guys have been having so much fun playing basketball out here, it's really hard to stop for sure. Connection, naming, acknowledging, stepping into their space, remembering that there's something underneath the child's resistance that is likely so much deeper than just being a jerk or just being difficult, right? It's so easy to want to think that it's that on the surface, where really the child is frustrated or they feel like a lack of sense of control, or they're just testing out to see if it gets their needs met to act in a certain way. So connection can look like giving a hug. Connection can look like pausing and naming that they're having a hard time transitioning from the thing you're asking them to transition from. Both kindness and firmness are used there. Doesn't mean we're gonna say, I can see you're having fun, so okay, we'll be here 10 more minutes. And it also doesn't mean we're like, get over here right now because I said so. It's this beautiful middle place of being able to say, I see this is hard for you, and it's time to go. It's a version of this phrase that I use a lot called, I love you, and the answer is no. Second key tool that is so valuable to put you more on the same page with each other so you're not in opposition, is to have a family meeting. For instance, when I had the privilege to interview Jane Nelson, founder of Positive Discipline, in episodes 57 through 59, one of the things she kept emphasizing was the power of the family meeting. This is such a kind and firm practice. And I just talked with a family this week where this was revolutionary and gave them so much more hope. We talked about how the children are not responding when they're asking them to get out the door more easily. And this is an older child. And it's like, I'm tired of nagging this kid to get out the door. I am tired of having to wake them up and then they're mad at me for yelling and nagging. And then my partner is like, geez, why do you have to be that way? And we're all battling. And when we talked with this family about setting a family meeting, it was like, ooh, that's what we're missing. And when they came back the next week, they were seeing so much more cooperation. The difference in a family meeting is the ability to move from in the moment deciding who's in control, like the parents are saying it has to happen this way, the kids are pulling, I don't want to do it that way. And saying, outside of the moment, let's sit down and say, Hey, mornings aren't going well. Let's hear what's going on for you, then let's share what's going on for me, and let's find a solution that meets in the middle. It's that simple. And it's such a beautiful way to reset the whole family to problem solve when our brains are actually able to problem solve. When we're in that frustration, we have five minutes to get out the door so that the kid's not late for school and we're not late for work. We are not in our great problem-solving brain. But outside of the moment, maybe at dinner that night, we can be. So I invite you to think about a family reset of having a family meeting where you talk about what's not going so great. And if you want to learn more about that, it's talked about in depth in episode 59 when I interviewed Jane Nelson on the topic. Third key tool from positive discipline that can really help you meet in the middle and have more cooperation that is coming from a place of both kindness and firmness is a tool of inviting cooperation through what's called curiosity questions. If you hear me say to you, get your coat, grab your shoes, get your plate from the table, get on up to bedtime, stop whining, quit fighting with your brother. It's like command, command, order. Notice where you find yourself thinking, feeling, or deciding. An invitation to solve the problem sounds more like this. Hey, what do we need to do so your teeth won't feel skizzy? What are you taking so you won't be cold outside? What are you missing on your body? How can you say that so I can hear you? How could you and your brother solve that? An invitation to problem solving. And it's energetically, we're not saying like that it's not gonna happen. We're saying this is happening. What ideas do you have? I'm giving an invitation to involve the child in solving the problem. And that's how it holds both holds both kindness and firmness at the same time. And don't forget, friend, if you're looking for more resources, and friend, if you're looking for more resources to be able to have more kind and firm parenting that feels more at ease and sustainable, I have new resources in my Etsy shop linked in the show description, and also a free PDF of getting kids to listen. Friend, if you have been struggling to be on the same page and you want less power struggles with your kids and your partner, I invite you to use the three tools we've talked about today: connection before correction, family meetings, and invitations instead of commands. And friend, do not miss my next episode as I'm going to have a very special guest, the most special I've ever had in my entire podcast, my daughter. My nine-year-old is sharing three key tips on parenting from the point of a nine-year-old. Can't wait to share that with you next week, friends, as I really believe you'll enjoy it as much as I did. See you then. If you'd like to leave a review to share how sustainable parenting has been impacting your life, I would be so grateful. It helps others to know what's possible in their families too, and you can do so easily by scrolling to the bottom of all episodes, clicking on that fifth star, and leaving a comment. Also be sure you subscribe to the podcast so that you regularly get the downloads each week and don't miss a single tool and strategy to be parenting with more kindness and firmness at the same time so parenting finally feels sustainable.