94. How to Respond to Toddlers Who Get into Mischief

Ever find yourself unsure of what to do when your toddler’s curiosity turns into mischief at home?

In this episode, I share simple ideas for staying calm and connected when your little one’s adventures lead to messes or unexpected surprises—like unrolling all the toilet paper or climbing on furniture.

By the time you finish listening, you’ll learn:

• The importance of close supervision for kids under six
• Practical strategies for positive engagement
• Motivations behind attention-seeking mischief
• Methods for creating clear boundaries with empathy
• Tips for navigating chaotic gatherings with grace
• Proactive approaches to fostering sustainable parenting

Together, we’ll explore why toddlers love to test and explore their world—and how we can guide them in ways that feel kind and respectful.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Parenting Strategies for Toddler Mischief
• 8:29 Setting Boundaries for Toddler Behavior

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hello, welcome to Episode 94 of the Sustainable Parenting Podcast with me, flora McCormick, licensed Counselor, parenting Coach and Early Childhood Mental Health Consultant. Today we're talking about how to respond to toddlers that get into mischief. We're talking about those between about two to six. When they get into mischief when you're trying to have a dinner party with friends or you are not paying attention, how do we respond? What's the best way to make it a teachable moment? Hello and welcome to the Sustainable Parenting Podcast. Let me tell you, friend, this place is different. We fill that gap between gentle parenting and harsh discipline that's really missing to parent with kindness and firmness at the same time, and give you the exact steps to be able to parent in ways that are more realistic and effective and, for that reason, finally feel sustainable.

Speaker 1: 1:02

Welcome, and as we are diving into this question, it came from a client session that I was having this week, one-on-one with a lovely set of parents. They were referred by a preschool, and so just a reminder that if you are wanting to dive in more personally, to have someone listen to your story, hear where the opportunities are for growth, to quickly see more joy and ease in your family system, reach out. I've got a connect link in the show notes, which is just in the description of this episode. Well, here are some thoughts about what to do when your little ones are getting into mischief, and this came from this session where, as I was saying in the intro, this actual situation came up A family was having a dinner with some friends and the dads were making the food and the moms were visiting in another room and actually listening to like a little course online together. Meanwhile, the three year old and two younger kids got into some mischief, got into nail polish, got it all over the face and then even, like, snuck it under the table and got into it more during dinner. We're bouncing from seat to seat during dinner and the mom's question was what do I, what? What could I have done in this moment? I mean, I want to understand. She's three, I don't want to be too harsh, and yet it was like chaos and it was really frustrating and not how I wanted to experience the evening with these lovely friends. So what can be done? Let's think through a couple key areas here to see this in an effective way.

Speaker 1: 2:55

The first thing that I want to bring up is the aspect of attention and supervision. We know that kids under six, especially, still need very close supervision, um, pretty much at all times. So we want to be clear that we're not setting up an expectation that this three year old should be able to make wiser choices, but know that, yeah, we still need to be supervising them. Even when there are friends over, they can get into things, they know where things are in our house, and so let's look next time for a way that some adult can be more aware of what the kids are doing. That doesn't mean you have to be constantly interacting with them, but that could look like you know, kind of barricading the two exits to the kitchen, if that's the case, and having you know activities for the children to be able to do either at the table or on the ground in the kitchen while the dads were cooking. So they're in a room alongside a parent, even if you aren't interacting with them, your eyes are able to see what's going on, or perhaps the moms could have been listening to their course on in earbuds while being in the same playroom with the kids, again, to be able to keep an eye on anything that might need to be redirected or corrected. So supervision is a really, really important for kids under six. If they've been getting into mischief and you're getting after them about like that's not okay and this is not okay, that is an indication that we're needing more close supervision so that we can catch it as they're about to get into the thing, instead of correcting it afterwards. Prevention is always more valuable than correction afterwards or criticism afterwards, so let's look for those ways to have supervision.

Speaker 1: 4:50

Another key thing to think about here is the desire of the child to get your attention. I hear this again and again situations where mischief happened where it's very clear that the adults were all occupied doing other things and it can be about the child's desire to pull you in that they got into something they knew they shouldn't do. So if you found yourself saying but she knew that that wasn't okay and she did it anyways, pause and think oh well, maybe this was an attempt then to pull me in for attention because, yeah, if I choose to do something I know I'm not supposed to do, there's some level that I know that's probably going to pull in my mom or dad to get right in my face, talk to me about it and even if that's somewhat negative attention, it's attention, and we know from child psychology that, positive or negative, when kids are desiring more attention from us, they will do what brings in attention, even if it's negative. So what can we do about that? Let's front load with some plans around how to give positive attention, and that would mean, again, supervision. Let's have a way that if we're in the same room with them, we can catch those things that are going well and compliment it, or we can involve them usefully if they're getting into, you know, continuing to want to reach for drawers. They're not supposed to and I have this inkling in my mind that this is about attention. Let's, instead of continuing to correct them and redirect to say hey, come on over here, we'd love your help with making dinner. And even kids as young as three can be helping standing up at a chair or one of those little like loft lifted things. That's what we always had in our kitchen so that the three-year-old could be at eye level with us and hold a carrot peeler and whittle that thing down to a toothpick. You know, even three-year-olds can start out helping in the kitchen with child safe knives or potato peelers. I'll put a link in the show notes of a list of one of my favorite little sets that has these child safe things they can help with in the kitchen. So involve them usefully.

Speaker 1: 6:58

Maybe they want your cleaning and your folding things doing laundry. Kids love to fold if you involve them in it. If they are, if you are cleaning the house, they may love to get involved with something that feels interesting, like a handheld vacuum or a handheld broom or mop. Or they might enjoy a squirt bottle and a rag. I mean, I don't know what it is, but squirt bottles can seem very entertaining to young kids and if you just fill it with some vinegar, water, maybe essential oils, they can wipe down the glass door. They can wipe down any door or baseboard or wall that has fingerprints on it. They can wipe down the stainless steel appliances of the dishwasher or oven or refrigerator. Lots of things they can be helpful with, and if it leaves a couple spots that's not super clean, it may be worth the way that it involves them usefully so you can enjoy that dinner party.

Speaker 1: 7:55

Finally, if they're getting into mischief at the table, then jumping from seat to seat, not doing what you want them to do, but you're trying to be supportive of them. Still just being a three-year-old, I want you to think of the phrase all feelings are allowed, certain actions must be limited. Phrase all feelings are allowed, certain actions must be limited. So how can I allow that? Yes, a three-year-old may not need be wanting to sit at this table calmly for the entirety of a 30 minute dinner party. But can I be clear, if you want to be at the table, you sit calmly in this chair or on my lap.

Speaker 1: 8:29

If you need to jump and and wiggle, you're welcome to go over there and leave the table. Get all your jumps, wiggles out, come on back and you can sit again with us. So differentiate that the need of wiggling or doing things that are not appropriate for the table is okay and age-appropriate. But pivot where it's allowed so that you're creating these clear boundaries, that of the socially acceptable behavior. When we're at the table, we're sitting, and when we need to get our jumps and wiggles out, we go next to the table to do that, okay? So a couple key thoughts about how you can respond if you're having mischief come up in that time frame around a dinner party or friends visiting. I hope this helps you with your sweet little mischievous ones this week. And again, if you'd like to dive in more personally, reach out through the link in my show notes. I'm wishing you another week filled with tools that help you be kind and firm at the same time, so that parenting finally feels sustainable.