Sustainable Parenting | Positive Discipline for Raising Resilient Kids
For cycle-breaking parents who still face battles at bedtime and beyond, Sustainable Parenting teaches tools that actually change behavior when gentle parenting doesn't work.
If your 6-year-old ignores you, your toddler screams over a broken banana, and bedtime still ends in tears—it’s not you, it’s the gentle parenting advice that’s failing you.
Research shows 1 in 3 parents who try gentle parenting still end the day begging kids to listen and blaming themselves when the scripts don’t stop the tantrums. So unlike other podcasts that only tell you to “stay calm” or “validate feelings” while your toddler is throwing dinosaurs at your head, here you’ll get strategies to set limits kids respect without crushing their spirit so they grow into kind, confident humans, and you finally feel like the calm, in-control parent you want to be.
I’m Flora McCormick—a counselor, parenting coach, and mom of two. After 20 years helping families worldwide, I’ve helped thousands of parents raise confident kids while practicing parenting without yelling or shame. Parenting will always have hard moments, but raising respectful, emotionally healthy kids doesn’t have to be a constant battle.
Follow Sustainable Parenting and start listening today.
Popular Topics Include: Bedtime battles, Positive discipline, Gentle discipline, Gentle Parenting, Parenting differences, Discipline without yelling, Positive parenting strategies, Raising confident kids
Sustainable Parenting | Positive Discipline for Raising Resilient Kids
68. The Simple Phrase That Gets Kids to Listen the First Time
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Having trouble figuring out how to get kids to listen without repeating yourself a dozen times? Do you feel stuck between reminding and nagging, but still not getting the cooperation you’re hoping for? 😫
This week’s episode of Sustainable Parenting with Flora McCormick is all about shifting from commands to curiosity. 🌟 By asking simple, curiosity-driven questions, you’ll discover how to spark your child’s thinking, encourage cooperation, and bring more calm into your home.
Here’s what you’ll learn:
- How curiosity-driven questions work as a gentle discipline tool for guiding better choices.
- Ways this approach can transform everyday moments like morning routines, homework, and chores.
- Real examples from parents using positive parenting strategies in raising confident kids.
🎧 Tune in to explore how calm parenting tips like these can reduce stress, strengthen connection, and set the stage for raising resilient kids with kindness and respect.
✨Want more?
✨JOIN me in the SUMMER of support:
💪❤️💪 https://courses.sustainableparenting.com/courses/summer-of-support
✨ Get my 3 KEYS to Calm, Confident Parenting (30 min. FREE webinar) - https://view.flodesk.com/pages/63640a05c74edb4b6bdce1f3
✨ Buy a 3 session Coaching Bundle (saving you $100) - for THREE 30-min sessions 1:1 with ME, where we get right to the heart of your challenges, and give you small, powerful shifts that make a huge difference fast.
✨Schedule a FREE 20 min clarity call with Sustainable Parenting, so we can answer any questions you may have about working with Flora.
✨Purchase a $19 short course on Etsy✨
Hello and welcome to the Sustainable Parenting Podcast with me , flora McCormick , licensed therapist and parenting expert of over 15 years , and in just a few minutes I'm going to give you exactly what to put into action today to see change in your child's behavior . Today I want to highlight Alyssa and Martin , amazing parents who worked with me as a parenting coach , who said that when they use today's tool , they went from a space where they were nagging or reminding their kids to get dressed and get dressed to using this tool and their child saying oh , and moving their body quickly up the stairs , finding their shoes , getting them on and getting out the door quickly . I remember Martin telling him me that he literally had to pick his jaw up off the floor . He was like what Is it really that easy ? I never thought it was possible to see different results in my kids being more cooperative just because I asked in a different way . I thought it was all about them . They needed to just know that they needed to be more respectful , know that they needed to be better quote behaved when really it was all about them . They needed to just know that they needed to be more respectful , know that they needed to be better quote behaved when really it was all about my asking . That was driving them to be more likely to tune me out , ignore me .
Speaker 1And not , it's so easy . Here it is . It's the tool of asking instead of telling , asking instead of telling . And I don't mean can you , can you please come over here and empty this dishwasher with me ? Can you get your shoes on please ? No , and it's not just asking with a nice tone , it is asking in a way that piques their curiosity . That's why we call them curiosity questions , and a curiosity question starts with a what or a how . So hear me out for just a minute on this . The ineffective style sounds something like this Go , brush your teeth , pick up your coat , stop fighting with your brother , get your plate off the table for dinner . So notice what it feels like to be on the receiving end of that . The curiosity question , now with asking with a what or a how , sounds like this what do we need to do so your teeth won't feel scuzzy ? Oh , where does your coat belong ? How could you and your brother solve that ? What was our agreement of where our plate goes after dinner ? What and how questions ? This is so simple . Martin said to his son when he still didn't have his shoes on . He just said oh , what are you missing on your feet ? And he immediately went from not listening to the several nagging things Martin had just said to moving upstairs , finding his shoes , getting them on and coming downstairs .
Speaker 1I see it all the time with my kids . Sometimes I'll say at dinner , when they're not eating , hey , what are we supposed to be doing right now ? And their little hands just go right down to the plate with the fork and up to the mouth and I just can't believe how magically it shifts their behavior . Or if my daughter's being whiny and I say , well , how can you say that so I can hear you , she will pause and it really gets those wheels turning for her to self-correct . Or I look in her backpack and I notice that her gloves are there , and then she did not hang them up when she first got home but is going to need them dry . I'll say honey , come over here . What do you notice in your backpack ?
Speaker 1And as kids get older , a great one for cleaning up or getting homework done or getting their chore done is what's your plan for Okay , honey ? Well , what's your plan for getting this done ? When you ask your child with a what or a how question what's your plan for ? How can you solve this ? What ideas do you have ? What's our agreement ? What's on our routine chart ? How can you solve it ? What and how ?
Speaker 1You get their brains moving and it gives this place where they feel like confident and excited to have the answer because they are able to um , they're able to give it , they're able to tell you what's supposed to happen , instead of feeling in that place where you're telling them what needs to happen . And it makes them feel more empowered , more appreciated , more like seen as an intelligent being instead of a golden retriever , and everyone wins . So this is a small shift with big , powerful impact . If you can shift today , practice anytime you're about to tell your kid to do something , ask it , try out using a what or how and tell me the results . And , friend , if you've gotten value from episodes previous to today or after today , please make sure that you download , subscribe so you don't miss future episodes , and that , if you haven't yet leave a review , by going to the main page of the of the show and scrolling down to the bottom of all episodes you see for a chance to leave a four star review . We could select you in an upcoming episode for a free course .