Have you had a less-than-wonderful Mother's Day in the past?
Looking to this year with a bit of dread, because you feel you might be:
Taking care of others (your MIL, making your own card with the kids, etc),
Overlooked, or
Under-appreciated /Not celebrated as you would like to be celebrated?
❤️We've got a 3 part recipe to reinvent the Mother's Day you really want. ❤️
My first Mother's Day was far from the idyllic scene I had pictured — imagine a hungover husband, me changing all the diapers, being told the shoes I bought myself the week before were my "gift", and feeling completely unappreciated. But I've learned a lot since then, and in this heartfelt episode, I'm spilling the tea on transforming Mother's Day from a potential letdown into a celebration that truly honors our motherhood journey.
By the time you finish listening, you'll know:
The common traps we fall into - like expecting our partners to be mind-readers or grappling with guilt when it comes to expressing our wishes.
How to end our guilt, "should'ing" or other unhelpful thinking patterns.
How to look inward and speak outward, to be clear with our loved ones and honor the celebration moment we totally deserve.
Join me, knee-to-knee, mom-to-mom, as we explore the art of communicating our needs and shaping a Mother's Day that leaves us feeling cherished and rejuvenated.
And if you are in a space where you REALLY DESIRE SPACE FOR REJUVENATION, join me on the DAY OPTION, or OVERNIGHT option of the "Rooted and Reaching - Sustainable Parenting Glamping Women's Retreat."
And lastly, I wanna offer you a discount to the Sustainable Parenting Transformation🌟Accelerator Package🌟 (exclusive 10% DISCOUNT).
This Parent Coaching Wrap-around support for 5 sessions (over 2 months of time) is regularly $997 - ON SALE UNTIL MOTHER's DAY ($878)!
✨Want more?
1) If you are in a space where you REALLY DESIRE SPACE FOR REJUVENATION, join me on the DAY OPTION, or OVERNIGHT option of the "Rooted and Reaching - Sustainable Parenting Glamping Women's Retreat."
Have you had a less-than-wonderful Mother's Day in the past?
Looking to this year with a bit of dread, because you feel you might be:
Taking care of others (your MIL, making your own card with the kids, etc),
Overlooked, or
Under-appreciated /Not celebrated as you would like to be celebrated?
❤️We've got a 3 part recipe to reinvent the Mother's Day you really want. ❤️
My first Mother's Day was far from the idyllic scene I had pictured — imagine a hungover husband, me changing all the diapers, being told the shoes I bought myself the week before were my "gift", and feeling completely unappreciated. But I've learned a lot since then, and in this heartfelt episode, I'm spilling the tea on transforming Mother's Day from a potential letdown into a celebration that truly honors our motherhood journey.
By the time you finish listening, you'll know:
The common traps we fall into - like expecting our partners to be mind-readers or grappling with guilt when it comes to expressing our wishes.
How to end our guilt, "should'ing" or other unhelpful thinking patterns.
How to look inward and speak outward, to be clear with our loved ones and honor the celebration moment we totally deserve.
Join me, knee-to-knee, mom-to-mom, as we explore the art of communicating our needs and shaping a Mother's Day that leaves us feeling cherished and rejuvenated.
And if you are in a space where you REALLY DESIRE SPACE FOR REJUVENATION, join me on the DAY OPTION, or OVERNIGHT option of the "Rooted and Reaching - Sustainable Parenting Glamping Women's Retreat."
And lastly, I wanna offer you a discount to the Sustainable Parenting Transformation🌟Accelerator Package🌟 (exclusive 10% DISCOUNT).
This Parent Coaching Wrap-around support for 5 sessions (over 2 months of time) is regularly $997 - ON SALE UNTIL MOTHER's DAY ($878)!
✨Want more?
1) If you are in a space where you REALLY DESIRE SPACE FOR REJUVENATION, join me on the DAY OPTION, or OVERNIGHT option of the "Rooted and Reaching - Sustainable Parenting Glamping Women's Retreat."
You're listening to episode 56 of the Sustainable Parenting Podcast. Friend, today we're going to talk about how to have a Mother's Day that you actually enjoy and maybe you did already have one, maybe you have, but if you're like me, I had an awful first Mother's Day and then I felt real grumpy and resentful because it's a lot of work to be a mama. And and then I felt real grumpy and resentful because it's a lot of work to be a mama. So I want to have a conversation with you today, friend to friend, knee to knee, mom to mom. Let's talk about this. Don't end up standing up for what we really are wanting on Mother's Day or maybe not speaking it. There are lots of reasons that we do that and, secondly, what we can do instead this year to have a Mother's Day that really makes us feel refreshed, joyful, loved and in a space where motherhood is celebrated and you are celebrated, friend, I want to tell you the story of my first Mother's Day. My first Mother's Day, I had a let's see how old was my child. My child was five months old, and we went to a wedding the night before for a good friend of my husband's, and so the Mother's Day included him being super hungover, napping on the couch and I said, oh, did you get me anything At some point in the day after I had been changing diapers, taking care of our five month olds the whole morning while he slept on the couch and he said oh yeah, didn't you buy those shoes last week?
Speaker 1:
I thought that was your mother's day present. I had bought myself a pair of clogs, like the most boring, like useful shoe or at least that's how it feels in my world Not even a fun shoe. And then for dinner we had fried chicken, which I found out was a tradition of his mom. We were at his mom's house, it wasn't even her favorite, but that was their tradition for Mother's Day. That their tradition for Mother's Day. That was my first Mother's Day. I don't know if you've had something like that or I've heard stories. Actually, I'm going to put something on my Facebook page about like, what was your worst ever Mother's Day, because that would be fun to hear from you all. I'm going to put it in the Facebook Sustainable Parenting group. If you haven't joined us there yet, please feel free to. That's a space where I sometimes do live question answer times. I also offer workshops occasionally and post things to keep interesting conversations going around parenting, and.
Speaker 1:
But so that was my worst Mother's Day and there were a lot of reasons that I didn't speak up for having a better experience. First of all, I made some wrong assumptions. You know what they say about assumptions it makes an ASS of you and me. Right, those are the parts of the word assume. Well, I had totally done that. I had assumed my husband would know how important it is to do something nice for Mother's Day and that that's a day that you take care of the mother. That's what we always did in my mom's when for my mom when we were growing up, and so I just assumed he kind of knew that. And no, he did not know. That turns out he couldn't read my mind, so I didn't speak up because I didn't think I had to.
Speaker 1:
That's the first thing I hear this from so many women too. Like, do I really have to? Isn't it just obvious that and I'm putting quotes if you could see my hands isn't it obvious that they should be changing all the diapers for that day, or that they should make plans for us to do brunch, or they should make my favorite meal, or that? Absolutely, I'm a restaurant person and I want to go out. Isn't it obvious? I want to say to you first, like no, it is not obvious.
Speaker 1:
Most of our partners cannot read our minds, and so if it didn't go well, it might have been because you assumed your partner knew what you wanted and that you didn't need to ask for it. And that may have been an unfair assumption. Why else didn't I speak up for what I wanted? Well, I also felt guilty. I felt like you know, I think a lot of us women think that we are not supposed to be too needy or, you know, think that this motherhood role deserves honoring it. Just you, you be a mom because you love your kids, um, and and yet you know what, over time, I've come to feel different about that.
Speaker 1:
It's okay to take a moment to celebrate me for all that I do. I try to take more than just Mother's Day to occasionally stop and celebrate myself for all the work that I do as a mom, and that doesn't take anything away from the fact that I love this job and I love my children. So another reason I didn't speak up for myself and what I needed was that I kind of felt guilty and that I wasn't supposed to need to be celebrated or want to be celebrated. But, friend, let's quit that, let's celebrate ourselves. I want to celebrate you Side note I want to celebrate you with three key special discounts that I'm offering this week and they're in the description of this week's episode.
Speaker 1:
They are a discount this is our last few days of offering a discount to our summer glamping mom retreat that is called Rooted and Reaching, here in Bozeman, montana, an opportunity to be live in person with me, either through the day option over or the overnight option, over the course of August 2nd through 4th, and I'm offering a discount on that and also a discount on my high level parent accelerator program. And that's all in the show notes. Because I want to give you a gift, I want to celebrate you, my friend. So that's a side note, coming back to what else you can do to have the best Mother's Day and thinking about why you might not have spoken up in the past.
Speaker 1:
I also didn't speak up in the past because I didn't even know what I actually wanted. I mean, that takes looking inward and we moms sometimes aren't so good at that. We are great at looking outward. What does my child need? What does my mother-in-law need? What does my partner need? What does the household need? What does my work need? What does my mother-in-law need? What does my partner need? What does the household need? What does my work need? And we put ourselves absolutely last, or even zero, on the list of looking at needs.
Speaker 1:
So, friend, I want to invite you today to think about shifting and considering. What do I need, what would I really like? And here's the hardest part of that. Well, I think one hard part is even pausing to give ourselves credit to do that. But the second is then letting go of all shoulds. Letting go of all shoulds, you know it's been said, don't should on yourself. You know what that sounds like. It's the same thing when you're focused on shoulds Instead to let go of like. Well, shouldn't I want to be with my family all day. Maybe not. Maybe you're like me, where, on my second Mother's Day, what I decided to ask for was to be left alone.
Speaker 1:
What we decided was that we had this arrangement where my husband would take the kids out to his parents' cabin and he would be with his mom and the kids and enjoy that time together for one night, while I would go into town and stay at their home and have some time to myself, where I wasn't in my house, where I could get into chores or all the things I needed to do. But I just brought myself some smutty magazines and watched a bunch of TV and had a glass of wine, met up with a friend and did that all for a night and then the next day, mother's Day, we would get together. The kids would come into the house where I was staying at my in-laws home instead of the cabin, and we had a brunch and a nice day together. I had to let go of some some shooting in that when I remember even telling someone what I was doing for Mother's Day and they were like, really you don't want to be with your kids? And I was like, yes, don't, mom, shame me on wanting a little bit of time to myself and knowing that I'm going to be able to sleep in as long as I want to, because no toddler is rushing over needing me right away at five in the freaking morning, just for one day, right. So I, but I had to let go.
Speaker 1:
I did have people in my world that said like, oh gosh, you want to be left alone. That that's interesting, you know and maybe they didn't say it that harshly, but that's how I heard it, because that's what we do as moms. We judge ourselves and we over-exaggerate that everyone around us is judging us. So let go of the shooting and think about what would you really like, what do you need? Would you love to meet up with a friend and go on a walk or go do yoga? That's also what I chose to do one Mother's Day.
Speaker 1:
Or would you love to be left alone for a night, somewhere that you escape to, to have a night and a morning wake up? That's totally uninterrupted and you can be as selfish as you want with that time. Or would you love to do something with your children Now that my kids are eight and 10, I'm clear with my husband, I would like them to make me a card and make me breakfast in bed. That's all I want. That makes me so happy, and I'd like us to do something together for the day. I don't really want to go out to dinner. I'd like to do an adventure like a hike or a picnic or something like that, and then have an easy dinner at home.
Speaker 1:
So in each phase of parenting it's been something different, but it takes, reflecting, letting go of any shoulds of what everyone else is doing on Pinterest or in your friend group and saying, but what would I really love? And I'm going to ask for it. So, from this Mother's Day, I encourage you to look inward and speak outward. Look inward at what you really want and speak outward, knowing that our loved ones can't read our minds, don't know exactly what it is that would make us most happy and feel celebrated and loved and friend. If part of that asking for what you want is that you share with your parents, your mother or your partner that you would love for them to gift you an experience with sustainable parenting boy, I would feel so incredibly honored. I'd love to just support you, be there for you, be at the other end of the phone so you can text me anytime with your questions and, if you have, if you're curious about how that gets set up, you can go to my website, sustainableparentingcom, and see details or reach out for a clarity call there so we can talk it through. See details or reach out for a clarity call there so we can talk it through. For now, friend, I hope you have a wonderful week preparing for your special Mother's Day. Look inward, speak outward and let this be another week where you parent with kindness and firmness at the same time, so that this job of motherhood feels more sustainable Talk soon.
Speaker 1:
Today I want to highlight our listener of the week, who is Daisy Andrea at Strong Mom Fitness. She said amazing resource for parents. I encourage you to download and listen to each and every episode. Thanks so much and, andrea, if you send us a message and personal messenger, facebook or Instagram, we would love to give you a special bonus access to one of our downloadable courses that are available at sustainableparentingcom. And remember friends if you get value from today's episode, please share it with a friend and leave a review at the bottom of the main podcast homepage by scrolling to the bottom of all episodes, leaving a comment about why you enjoyed the podcast and you could be featured as our listener of the week, winning a special free course in an upcoming episode.